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symbioidljFound this old article I wrote on my old old old website back in Aug. 27, 1998(I think when Clinton attacked Afghanistan after the bombings of the Kenyan US Embassy bombings...)
It's amazing how much this still holds, even more so now. Man............... Some things never change:
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I stayed home sick today, and it sucks. I puked, and I had to call in. I hated doing that. I mean, I really really really hate calling in sick for work, because I feel like a complete dork, and plus... I missed a few days already which I probably shouldn't have missed. anyways... I just had to vent a little again... I think we are majorly fucked right now. I'm usually an optimist, but I think things are just heading straight downhill, and it frightens the fuck out of me. I'm pretty rational, so I know that in the long run, we'll make it through, but I just kind of fear the shit that's coming up. Economic downturn, and it's gonna happen. I didn't believe it until yesterday... And now I can feel it. And our(the United States) even more antagonistic attitude towards others... Attacking suspected terrorist camps(ever heard of innocent 'til proven guilty?), landing bombs in innocent countries backyards(Pakistan), proving we've got a bigger cock than those that have a hard-on for their god... Yeah, they may have religious intolerance and fundamentalism, but we've got arrogance and fundamentalism.
The flag... Ya know, I've always wanted to burn a flag. I still think it's a right that we have, and should have. Anyways, I felt this anger and resentment towards the US... And when there was much debate over a "constitutional amendment" I had written up an article on how banning flag burning was against capitalist principles. Now, I may have felt anger, but never what I felt yesterday, and I wanted to just lay my head down and cry. As I was driving home from work(in a suburb of Madison, which is about a half hour from where I live) I had seen lined up on every single utility pole a flag. I believe they put them up around memorial day. As I looked up at those pieces of cloth with red and white stripes, and a blue field w/white stars, it had hit me... The worst, most agonizing feeling I had ever felt as an American, and it's not anger, not hatred, not any of these things. I think these are a little more easy to handle. No... What I had felt was an emotion called shame. That's right, not only was I angry at our policies, and upset at our hipocrisy, I couldn't even feel proud to be an American. No, I couldn't go to another country and say "Yeah, I'm an American" I wouldn't want to be associated with this wreck, this hellhole, of a country. In fact, I'm a little ashamed to consider myself a human. Having our minds, we have to opportunity to rise above this violence and aggression which seems to stem from our animal heritage, but instead, we use our stupid minds as proud devices to exercise excuses for our irrational behavior. We seem to need to rationalize our aggressive behavior, because we know it's wrong. We need some force to give us a reason to fight. We need freedom, fight! We need economic proseperity, fight! We need a lord to rule over us, fight! Neah... We need to be, fuck! And that's about all I feel right now. I have to put something up, so this is all you're getting today. I guess I just want someone, anyone to know that I'm just feelin' a bit shitty at this moment.
It's amazing how much this still holds, even more so now. Man............... Some things never change:
---------------
I stayed home sick today, and it sucks. I puked, and I had to call in. I hated doing that. I mean, I really really really hate calling in sick for work, because I feel like a complete dork, and plus... I missed a few days already which I probably shouldn't have missed. anyways... I just had to vent a little again... I think we are majorly fucked right now. I'm usually an optimist, but I think things are just heading straight downhill, and it frightens the fuck out of me. I'm pretty rational, so I know that in the long run, we'll make it through, but I just kind of fear the shit that's coming up. Economic downturn, and it's gonna happen. I didn't believe it until yesterday... And now I can feel it. And our(the United States) even more antagonistic attitude towards others... Attacking suspected terrorist camps(ever heard of innocent 'til proven guilty?), landing bombs in innocent countries backyards(Pakistan), proving we've got a bigger cock than those that have a hard-on for their god... Yeah, they may have religious intolerance and fundamentalism, but we've got arrogance and fundamentalism.
The flag... Ya know, I've always wanted to burn a flag. I still think it's a right that we have, and should have. Anyways, I felt this anger and resentment towards the US... And when there was much debate over a "constitutional amendment" I had written up an article on how banning flag burning was against capitalist principles. Now, I may have felt anger, but never what I felt yesterday, and I wanted to just lay my head down and cry. As I was driving home from work(in a suburb of Madison, which is about a half hour from where I live) I had seen lined up on every single utility pole a flag. I believe they put them up around memorial day. As I looked up at those pieces of cloth with red and white stripes, and a blue field w/white stars, it had hit me... The worst, most agonizing feeling I had ever felt as an American, and it's not anger, not hatred, not any of these things. I think these are a little more easy to handle. No... What I had felt was an emotion called shame. That's right, not only was I angry at our policies, and upset at our hipocrisy, I couldn't even feel proud to be an American. No, I couldn't go to another country and say "Yeah, I'm an American" I wouldn't want to be associated with this wreck, this hellhole, of a country. In fact, I'm a little ashamed to consider myself a human. Having our minds, we have to opportunity to rise above this violence and aggression which seems to stem from our animal heritage, but instead, we use our stupid minds as proud devices to exercise excuses for our irrational behavior. We seem to need to rationalize our aggressive behavior, because we know it's wrong. We need some force to give us a reason to fight. We need freedom, fight! We need economic proseperity, fight! We need a lord to rule over us, fight! Neah... We need to be, fuck! And that's about all I feel right now. I have to put something up, so this is all you're getting today. I guess I just want someone, anyone to know that I'm just feelin' a bit shitty at this moment.
